I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
time to smoke my breakfast
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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