her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
high people should be assigned attendants
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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