you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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