I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I have demons in me.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
