I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
