Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
