can we get nightvision for the apartment?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
