I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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