Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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