I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
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using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
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my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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