I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
