the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
