In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
MIDGETS
????
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
