Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
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FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
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Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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