Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
