I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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