I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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