dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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