He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
