Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
