I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
