Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Text me some of your sweat
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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