Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize