You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Randomize
