a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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