I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
