Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
