I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
