man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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