The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
