My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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