WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
