It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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