He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
