my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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