everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
