I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
