They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
