oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
