Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
