Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
