He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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