"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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