That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
