when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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