Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
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