I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Couch. On fire.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
