I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
