i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
