So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
