So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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