I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
