listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
