NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize