i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
