Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
