I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We talked him into tasing himself.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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