This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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