i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
