This dress was meant to end up on your floor
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
