I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
