Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
