I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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