CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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