You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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