hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
