Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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